Today is the 1st of June. Children's day.

there was a lot of happiness, some disappointments here and there,

but the general feeling was that of nostalgia.

As the date of departure draws nearer,

I am already starting to miss all those dear to me.

Took my sister out today for a girl's night out with some friends,

and as i held her hand and walked through the shopping centers while waiting for my friend, i couldn't help but start to feel a sense of sadness within me.

My sister has been someone really close to me,

someone who has been so good to me,

someone whose existence i have taken for granted of,

and someone i haven't treated as nicely as i should.

She was someone i've always let down,

always disappointed,

yet always held hope for me,

always doing things for me,

despite how strict and demanding i was with her.

How was i going to give her all the love that i could with the last few weeks that i've got with her?

I feel that i'm such a lousy sister,

one who doesn't really deserve the kind of love and concern that my little sis has been showering me with.

No matter how much i've tried to live my life without regrets,

i still leave a few things here and there not tended to,

and the way i've treated my sis would be one of the biggest regrets i'm ever gonna have in my entire life.

While she was hugging me on our way home today,

i felt a little heartache for her,

felt sorry for all the tears that i've caused,

felt sorry for not adding more laughter and happiness to her life.

Then i started thinking about how it's always like that.

How we always learn to cherish certain things,

only when we're starting to lose them.

(this is in no way totally analogical to my sister's case, it was just a general link that i drew while thinking on the train)

We start to realize how we missed single-sex schools-

the pureness, the carefree-ness, the recklessness-

only after we've gone to co-ed schools and.

well.

shall not elaborate further on THAT part of the story.

We start to realize how a relationship is going in the wrong direction right at the last minute.

we start to get further and further away from that someone,

until one day, he/she finally finds another someone to replace you,

and comes back to you saying,

"oh, you know, i used to like you. but because you were.....*blah blah*"

And then you realize it was a "destined-to-be" not so "destined-to-be",

all thanks to you.

Or when you realize that you're leaving school,

finally, but not SO "finally",

coz you realize that everyone else was going their different ways,

and that you guys may never cross paths ever again...

you suddenly start to miss school and want to cherish every moment you have left with the class, no matter how many awful memories you've had in there,

only to get swept away by A levels,

waking up from the nightmare to realize that it's all over.

who is there to blame?

other than ourselves?

i've got that much time to make things better,

and i know where my priorities lie.